I swear to the universe and all its marvellous existence, all it’s planets and stars,
this morning when I opened my eyes and saw the grey clouds outside moving slowly
like light horses,
I thought of you, my old little man
It was like the day we were up on that spanish mountain
inside the forest
laying one next to each other on that small bed
surrounded by small windows
a house with wheels it was
And today, this morning, though we’re not talking anymore
and we won’t
my old little man, I don’t know, if you felt it,
but I was talking to you while watching the clouds like light horses
passing in front of my big brown eyes
– do you remember my eyes? –
I was telling you that my heart was small and weak,
but also very human and full of emotions
I was telling you that I’ve learned a lot,
but I was also telling you that I won’t ever speak to you again,
not because I am too proud or egoist, but just because I could never see you as a friend,
but maybe neither as a lover
Though you were right about some things,
just remember to be more human – even though humans suck
along with their feelings and instincts
That’s your weakness and also mine, but the other way round.
Our moments are still vivid and will be, more than ever.
That’s the proof that I’ve loved you.
My inability to talk to you again – that’s also the proof that I’ve loved you.