An abstract text about a metaphor I created in order to describe what happens sometimes when someone is overthinking and is confused. Clearly the text describes mainly the pressure of too many thoughts. It’s a very free written text and without thinking too much. The original was written in Greek. I then did the translation.
I was always selfishly hiding what I had in my head. That’s what I liked, that’s how I like it, that’s what I do. This liberates me, this makes me breathe. Furthermore, I didn’t always like people, probably because I never liked enough myself. Because wherever you run into in order to understand you better, there is always something that you don’t like from what you’ve collected – zero points again – and you start your vicious circles again with the hope to see the continuously repetitive patterns changing. Somewhere there inside you create pattern-behaviors, almost automated, far from any spontaneity, far from any real freedom.
So, since I haven’t managed to like until now all these innocent fellow men of mine, I was finding pleasure with the idea of writing what I would say to them and even try to capture whatever thought springs up first inside my skull so that we could talk about a more authentic recording, by removing every element of good or bad, right or wrong. Just like the recording of any voice. It’s nice to hide inside the anonymity especially when you have reasons for doing so. When you have no reason(s) it may be partially diminished in value. On the other hand, it may increase because you gain trust easier. Nothing and no one is chasing you. In the contrary: the mystery surrounding your lost shape, intensifies all what you’re saying. It’s a little magic, a little juggling trick or an illusion maybe?
Many times, or rather all the time, they walk around free, inside those tight alleys of this small skull: small, jumping creatures. And yes, you do imagine very well: in black colour.
Now activate your imagination, my innocent fellows. You are going to love it. Maybe you are going to even feel it with me. So, these creatures can be named as you wish. And at this point I challenge you to do right away that baptism. I can assure you that no matter which name you’ll give to them, it won’t be important, as their existence remains a fact and even more their annoying action within the dirty walls of the mind. For me, they are black coloured probably because I am swimming inside melancholy.
These black stinky goblins – I just gave shape to those until now amorphous creatures, but don’t take me seriously – take pleasure from the distortion of everything. I go on with these goblins and I am telling you with all sincerity and certainty that we all have an army of goblins inside our heads. These creatures have incredible abilities and are doing everything in their power just to achieve what they want. “What they want” can be considered many and different things. It depends on who’s the “master goblin”.
I mean, what if everything you had weaved – well, not completely alone, but with a little help – inside your mind was a squared zero?
The world must be stuck between two gigantic rocks: those of doubt and dilemma. This, of course is what also made us move ahead. But, just think, if more than half of your construction inside your mind would be fake. How sad! Was that because of the fear? The point is not to make a strong construction for others (others will never fully understand), but for you.
I live and suffer inside a well organised delusion. I believe in that. It’s not that I always believe it’s like that, but most of the time I admit that I do. And the I realise that nothing botheres me more than the repeated rape of my skull.
Start shooting those “goblins”, and when I say “shooting” I don’t mean guns. By now you must have understood what I mean: and the “meat” of what I mean in this text is the destruction of every second or third thought inside the brain, practically the overthinking of the brain.
These are the small blackmailing creatures.